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Do you think I would make a good author?Why? Any tips?


here is the story give me tips:

Scary Story
By: Anonymous

Preface

I rang the doorbell to the pale white house. Footsteps echoed inside the house, but nobody came to the door. I faced my mother, she nodded at me and we quickly left, my mom was a realtor and the house we were just at was up for sale because it was said to be deserted, but since there was somebody there, there was no point in selling it. We headed toward our apartment two blocks away. A cold gust of wind blew my hair; I was surprised because it was the middle of July. Suddenly an eerie feeling crept over me, like somebody was following me, I turned around, but there was nothing there. I started walking to catch up with my mom, but it seemed like she was going too fast, I struggled to catch up with her and as we neared my house she just passed it, I followed her, finally she reached the pond near our apartment building she took one deep breath and then jumped in. “MOM!” I cried. I jumped in after her struggling to swim against all of the seaweed, I felt a sharp pain in my right leg and then my left, I swam harder looking hard, I finally dragged myself onto the green grass and lay there in pain. I felt something in my pocket and realized that it was my cell phone I knew it probably broke, but when I flipped it open I saw that it was working perfectly I quickly dialed 911 and told them the whole story. I sat there on the grass looking into the murky waters of the pond. Why did mom want to jump in? She was all happy a few minutes ago about selling that house and my birthday being so near. Why? I can’t believe it. Why would she do this to me? I was pulled out of my trance because I herd the police sirens in the distance, soon 6 police men ran up to me. I had to go to the hospital while my dad was notified at work. The nurse gave me some medicine and I fell asleep.

Chapter 1
Feelings

Every part of my body was numb when I woke up. I was in a dark room, a cellar probably. Nobody was around me, I was alone. I stood up and ran outside the July sunlight streamed through the window, I saw my father watering the plants, since when had we moved? I ran up to him “Hi dad. ” I said. He looked at me his face sweaty and his hands covered in dirt. Why was he doing the gardening? Mom usually did that. Dad looked at me glumly “Hi Natasha. ” He said.
“Why are you so glum?” I asked him.
“You should be to Natasha. ” He said.
“Why?” I asked confused.
“Natasha, you probably won’t remember because of the medicine you were given, but for some reason your mother jumped into the pond by our house, you were there when she did it. You tried to save her but something bit you… really bit you when the police saw you your legs were bleeding like crazy, you lost a lot of blood. ” He said.
“Dad I thought that was all a horrible dream. Where’s mom now?” I asked.
“The police can’t find her they’re afraid to go into that pond because of the things that bit you. ” He said.
I held back tears. “Why did we move?” I asked.
“They took down all of the houses there, it’s not safe there anymore honey this isn’t the first strange thing that has happened. ” He said.
“What else happened?” I asked.
He handed me a clip from a newspaper article I read it carefully:

Two weeks ago realtor Belinda Scott mother of Natasha Smith jumped into the pond by the house. The only witness was the daughter who is in the hospital with horrible conditions, the body of Belinda will not be found, for the police are worried that the things in the pond can harm everybody. The houses in the complex where Belinda lived were taken down and the people there were moved to a new safe complex for free. The people of the complex say that this isn’t the first strange thing that has happened in 1879 when the complex was built a young women named Isabelle McKenzie moved into a pale white house at the end of the street. She made the house so pretty that a person was bound to stop there at least once a day to have tea with her on the front patio. She lived there until the 1900’s, but then she became quite ill, she had to temporarily move out and rent the house to a college student named Vanessa Boa Vista. In 1905 the doctors found that Isabelle had tuberculosis. It was, unexpected because Isabelle grew up where the air was extremely fresh. She stayed in the hospital until 1912 then the doctors said she was well enough t start living a normal life. Isabelle returned to find that the college student had moved out 3 years ago. She could not fix up the house from its horrible condition because she was 52 and still weak and thin. She lived in that house until she was 72 until one night by the fire a voice in her head told her to stand up and go to the hospital, when she got there they took her in immediately, the voice in her head was right to tell her to go to the hospital, she had the flu and 1 degree from dying temperature fever, the doctors couldn’t get her fever down and at 2 A. M. she died. Her hou


3 Responses to “Do you think I would make a good author?Why? Any tips?”

  • midnite.scribe:

    You might become a good writer one day, you aren’t there yet. It takes determination, and constant practice. Write everyday, leave it for a while then edit it. Read a lot, learn about language. Look at the NewYork or the London Times Book reviews and read the books that get good reviews. Try to work out why.

  • boots:

    The story itself is okay, but not great. There is no seaweed in a pond. You need a lot of help with punctuation, spelling, and paragraphing

  • Laura:

    im not sure how old you are but your grammar, syntax and variety in language are very poor. the creativity is there, which is a key part of being a writer, but you really need to work on your grammar and diction because the immaturity of your english knowledge is obvious. i really dont mean this to be rude but you need to fully understand the english language before you can be a writer

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